Points of View - Teenager vs. Adult

I have come to realize that there is a basic difference in how teenagers and adults view different situations.  I find this a little odd since I used to be a teenager and I don't remember having this kind of a problem but the more teenagers I deal with the more I see that it is, in fact, a pretty big chasm of misunderstanding.  I have outlined a few areas where this difference in understand seems pretty evident.

1.  Homework
Adult - Homework is necessary to reinforce skills, promote memorization as well as a good work ethic.
Teenager - it' stupid, worthless, teachers just do it because they're power hungry idiots!

2.  Chores
Adults - Chores help teach responsibility, household skills, a beginning to independence and ownership of a teens surroundings.
Teenager - it's stupid, worthless, parents just make you do them because they're power hungry idiots

3.  Dating
Adults - This is a time to go out with different people, get to know a variety, enjoy this time in your life and make good choices about who you date.
Teenager - you mean you actually might go to prison?!?!  That's so cool!!!  I think I love you even though we're only been dating for 3 hours.  Of course, I've only known you for 4 hours but we will be together forever, I promise!!  I love you so much baby!!!

4.  Grades
Adult - You need to apply yourself to your studies so you can get into a good college, get scholarships and be able to support yourself through your career
Teenager - there is plenty of time to get my grades up, I'm not a senior yet.  Grades aren't important, they don't show the real me.  Grades are an antiquated method of showing nothing and should not be used to judge my self-worth, besides, I'm gonna be a famous .... (rock star, actor, rapper, football player, skateboarder, jockey, etc)

5.  Promptness
Adult - You need to be on time.  If I say 7:00, you should be ready to go by 6:55.  When you are late you inconvenience everyone, not just yourself.
Teenager - I'm only 5 minutes late, what's your problem?!  No body's gonna care if we get to there late!  You're so uptight!

6.  Consequences
Adult - You stayed out 3 hours past curfew, you totaled the car and ran over the cat.  You are grounded for a month, no friends over, no computer, and no cell phone.  You need to learn that this kind of behavior in not acceptable
Teenager - no cell phone?!?!  are you freakin' kidding me?!?!  You are so mean!!! I hate you!!!

7.  Time of Crime
Adult - You teacher called today and told up you haven't done your homework all quarter.  This is a serious problem and it needs to change.
Teenager - this quarter is over, I turned in my homework today, the rest of that all happened over a week ago so it's no big deal.  Why are you making such a mountain out of this, it's in the past; get over it already

8.  Tone and Attitude
Adult - You need to keep the attitude out of your voice while we discuss this issue, don't take a rude tone and watch what you are saying.  How you deal in stressful situations is being learned right now while we deal with your behavior.
Teenager - you're being rude with me so I can say anything I want.  I'm angry so I get to swear at you and yell and blow up, but don't worry, I'll apologize later and then you can forget all about this...until I do it again next time.  What do you mean?  Of course "I'm sorry" fixes it.  So what if I've said it 25 times this week for the same thing, I still said it?  You just hate me.

9. Rules
Adult - We have set certain rules so you can  learn responsibility, and we can make sure you are safe and cared for.
Teenager - rules are just a parents way of trying to suck all the fun out of being a kid.  I swear, my parent must have hatched from a bod; no way they were kids once, they are so clueless!

10.  Parenting
Adult - We do not set these rules and expectations to make you miserable, we do it to help you grow, mature and take your place in adult society and find all the success and happiness we hope for you.  It is not fun and it doesn't make us feel better or powerful to enforce rules, assign consequences or lecture about the same thing over and over until it sinks in.
Teenager - blah, blah, blah.  When I'm a parent I'm gonna let my kids do anything they want and I'm not going to make them follow any rules cause rules are stupid and you have no idea what it's like to be a kid.  Just leave me alone!!  You don't care!!

Yep, it's a slippery slope and very little of it makes any sense.  The biggest hope we have is when we look at our parents and watch they snicker behind their hands as they watch us have these conversations over and over again with our kids.  It appears to be a vicious cycle, but at least someday we get to be at their point in the circle of growing. 

I'm really looking forward to that.

Ah Those Summer Nights...from my friend hat

As the weather has started to turn and I shiver my way through scrapping the car every morning, my thoughts return more and more to this past summer and all the evenings we spent just relaxing on our porches.

At Missy and Todd's place we would spend countless hours sipping on Capt and cokes while we watched the world sizzle from the heat of the day and cool into the evening hours with bright huge moons and screaming motorcycles keeping us company.  Their dog, Harley would often lay on our feet as we talked about everything and nothing.  We found solutions to personal and family problems as well as national and global issues.  We laughed at and with our kids while they squealed from the tickles or the squeezes or huffed away to ignore us after we'd teased them about romance or school or whatever they had done that had made us roll our eyes that day.  We sat in silence and listened to the night gentle push the day and it's headaches aside.  Occasionally one of the kids would join us in the philosophical discussions but for the most part they stayed inside playing music on the computer and for the most part completely ignoring those adults who are so foolish as to prefer to be outside where there is not immediate entertainment through technology.  (Yes, Missy, I know Todd and I are addicted to our phones but let's be reasonable, that's usually all we took outside)

Some night we would end up on my back porch sipping on margaritas or some other tasty concoction (well, Missy and I did, Todd just kept drinking his Capt and coke).  Back there we were isolated from the world beyond my back yard. Just good friends, lots of laughs and my cat, Wade (whom Todd likes to call Lloyd). The moon was just as glorious and the talks just as far reaching as the stars but the distractions of the street out front we left to the kids who spent hours hanging out there, as far away from the adults as they could go.  As before there was some intermixing of kids and adults but these times were brief and infrequent, which suited all of us well.

Most of these nights we unplanned or as casually discussed as possible with a simple, "U comin over 2nite?" txt or just a knock on the door and a bottle in hand as we walked through each others houses.  I think that was the best part about the whole thing, that we could and did do that to and with each other on a regular basis.  What a comfort to know that you are welcome any time and that all other activity would either stop and socializing would happen or, whoever had just invaded would pitch in and help finish whatever task was being tackled at the time.  Todd was (and is) always good for a kid distraction.  They love messing with him and my daughter especially loved his big crushing gorilla hugs and squealing in his ear.  I think he really enjoys it too although he might not admit to that. 

Sometimes we would be joined by our friend Paulie.  He was always welcome but not always available.  He joined us frequently for cocktails and conversation.  Paulie is highly animated, informed and entertaining and I still do not get to spend nearly enough time with him.  he greatly added to our enjoyment of warm summer evenings and lively conversations.

There were also some memorable evenings gathering with multiple friends to share camaraderie, laughs and a few short happy hours.  Laughter again was the goal and I think we found success.  These evenings strengthened friendships, built new ones and generally added great spice to my life.  I can only hope it did the same for those I was with.  Now that the days have grown shorter and fuller and have left us with less time and heat to enjoy porch nights, I can't help but look forward to next summer and more time laughing and loving and enjoying all of the blessings I have in my life.

Monday Morning Music - FLASH MOB

Good Morning!  I have been fascinated lately with the flash mob phenomenon so I thought I'd find a Christmas flash mob to share this morning.  Boy did I open a can of worms!  There are thousands upon thousands of flash mob videos on you tube and I have to choose just one?!  Not possible.  So I chose to share 2 of them.  One  is from the Carlson School of Management in UMN, where it seems they have been hit by flash mobs for that once, something you might want to think about when choosing a school, lol.  The other is from a website called RedefineChristmas.org.  Very sweet.  Anyway, enjoy the music and the show, I know I did.

The Power of Words

         Have you ever thought about how powerful a word can be?  Think about it, with just 1 word you can rip a person apart or sew their lives back together.  You can make sunshine out of a thunderstorm or bring on the blackest night that never ends.  Too much?  Let me give an example.   

        

Suppose you spent 3 hours getting ready to go out.  You have pampered and primped, picked the perfect outfit, spent extra time getting your hair and make up as near to perfection as possible and the image in the mirror is so stunning you can hardly believe it’s real.  You step into party/club/gathering for which you have prepared and you feel like a million bucks.  All is right with your world and you are ready to conquer Mt. Rushmore.  Then you see someone in the corner point at you and you just overhear them talking to their friend, sneering and the only word you hear is “Heifer”.  Now how do you feel?  

 Yep, words have power; a lot of power.  They have the power to heal as well though.  For example, imagine you have had the worst week of your life.  You lost your job, your car broke down, you boyfriend/girlfriend/husband or wife has confessed to cheating for the past 3 years and they no longer want to have anything to do with you and, oh yea, they have already cleared out your joint bank account so now you can't even buy a bottle to drown your sorrows.  Ok,  that is a truly crappy week, but you happen to see an old friend while you are wandering mindlessly around the block contemplating what else could possibly happen to you and the largest smile lights up their face, they open their arms and grab you in a vicious bear hug and and say, "Dude!" with all the enthusiasm of a starving man in front of a Christmas banquet.  

Words have power.

How many of us remember a cutting remark someone made 20 years ago?  How about the unexpected compliment you got that long ago as well?  That old rhyme we used about sticks and stones never really worked for me.  Words have power.

Along with words having power, words can lose power when misused.  How many of us are not even shocked when we hear the "F" bomb being dropped in daily conversation.  This used to be a highly inflammatory four letter word and now it is getting to be common place.  It is losing its power to shock and offend due to over use.  We not only accept but really expect it from some comics, musicians and others in our lives.  I have to admit there still is a large shock potential to this word.  Example?  If my daughter says it, I'm not shocked; when she's mad she drops this bomb but if my mom or dad said it?  The world would stop spinning on its axis and all life would cease.  Total and complete shock.  They still have power with that word.  They have not abused or over used it.  I am ashamed to say I have let it lose some power as well but I think I can still reclaim some of the power by refusing to let this bomb drop way too often.

Any word that has power can lose power when abused, misused or over used.  Other words with power?

Sorry
Love
Hate

What power words did I miss?

Monday Morning Music - Music Lover's Hat

I would apologize to those of you who aren't a fan of Christmas  music, but I really like it so I'm not going to, lol.  I heard this song over the weekend, not this morning, but when I heard another song by the same artist I was reminded if this one and it struck a chord so it got the nod today.  Garth Brooks is a country legend, there is no denying this fact.  Although not necessarily one of my favorites, I do appreciate many of his songs and I thought I had heard them all until I heard Belleau Woods over the weekend.  It was The Christmas Truce 1914 during our first real World War.  In the middle of this new hell there was a shining moment of hope.  I can't even imagine what it would have been like to live through such a thing, and I dearly hope fewer and fewer citizens of the world have to know this amount of fear as the years go on and hopefully our compassion and knowledge grows.

I wish for you all Peace.

Beginning My Bucket List from my Feeling a Little Older Woman's Hat

I never thought it would happen to me but, I have hit an age where I spend more time looking back and thinking, When I was younger..."  My favorite motto used to be "They can make me grow old, but they can't make me grow up" and I still hold to this as often as I can but reality and back aches conspire to tell me that growing old can be pretty lousy sometime even if you are a kid at heart.  I have heard a few references to this thing called a Bucket List and I thought to myself, "Self, maybe you should consider making a bucket list, after all, you're not getting any younger you know."  Then I'm all like, "Shut up!  I'm as young as I feel.  I don't need no stinking bucket list."  and my back's all, "Um, you may not be old, but I am, start the stupid list.", and I'm like "Shut up and get over it back, if I want to climb Mount Rushmore you're just gonna have to deal!" At which point my back spasms and I end up on the couch for a day or two.

After having a few of these arguments with my childish self I have decided I couldn't hurt and wasn't completely grown up to start a bucket list.  When you think about it, a bucket list is really just a list of things you dream about doing, which is and was a favorite past time of mine as a child so it goes along with the whole not growing up thing.  Besides, I know I wanted to blog today and I was having a hard time thinking of something to write about so.....bucket list it is.

1.  visit Ireland
           I am a little desperate to see if the greens really are greener there.  I want to tour the whiskey plants, sit in an Irish pub and see if they sing.  I want to spend a day wandering the fields looking for four leaf clovers and leprechauns.

2.  see the Grand Canyon
          I know it's completely ordinary and everyone says it but there must be a reason for that.  I have a hard time visualizing something that large and I need to see it in person.

3.  Have one of my pictures published
        I love taking pictures but a small petty part of me would like everyone or at least a lot of people to like my work as well.

4.  Get my doctorate degree
       I'm not sure what field I would pursue at this time and I won't be doing this until my daughter is out of school but I love learning so it makes sense that I would like to go as far as I can in education.

5.  Have a student come back and tell me I made a positive difference in their life
      I love my job and I think I'm pretty good at it but it would be nice to have someone come back and say they remembered something important, did something or didn't do something because I made an impact on them and they were grateful I was a part of their life.

6.  Fix all the little things in my house
     The bathroom needs remodeling, the kitchen ceiling needs fixed, a new dishwasher, a garbage disposal, tear down the garage and build a new one, the front porch steps, the list goes on but I think you get the point.

7.  see Australia and New Zealand
     I know that should count as 2 things, but really, they are so close to each other and far away from me that I'm combining them into 1 wish.  Besides, there is no way I would go to one and not the other once I have actually hopped the plane to go that far.

8.  drive across the country
     There is so much more to see, do and be amazed by when you're driving than when you're flying.  Don't get me wrong, I love to fly, but taking the time to drive cross country would give me the chance to experience the US in a way I can't from the air

9.  Be queen
     You'd have to be in the SCA or know about it to understand this one but I would like the chance to sit the throne once.  I'd hope I'd do a decent job as a monarch.

10.  learn another language
     I've always found languages hard for me to learn (I'm not really sure I understand my native language all that well) but I would like to learn Irish Gaelic and/or sign language

So, this is the start of my bucket list.  Pretty boring, mundane, everyday right now but hopefully it will get better, more creative and more fun.  Also, hopefully some of them will get accomplished.  Maybe I should start by getting my passport renewed.

What's on your bucket list?

Keeping a Firm Hold on My Mother Hat While it Tries to Fly Away

I have a 15 year old daughter.  Yes, my hair is greying and there is much less than there used to be.  Yes, I have nightmares about everything from too tight tops to hair and make up products driving me to a bank in a ski mask, bu the top of the list, the very pinnacle of frightening, is the boyfriend.   Yes, the boyfriend.

Boyfriends cause problems.  There is no way to deny this fact.

They cause questions to be asked I am not ready to answer. 

They cause drama with friends and family, especially if there are sisters or cousins around the same age liking the same boys.

They cause cell phones to be misused and taken away, which only causes more drama.

They cause misunderstandings, like, "I thought it would be ok to have him come over and visit while you were out shopping, afterall, we are dating mom."

They cause  groundings...see the above problem.

The cause money to be spent.  A lot of money.  A potential mound of money if my daughter is to be believed.
Outfits:  Homecoming dresses, prom dresses, winter ball dresses, summer dresses, all-he-ever-sees-me-in-is-dresses- shorts

Looking Good: Make up and hair care necessary in maintaining a boyfriend
Presents:  birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day, Sweetest Day, 1st month, hand holding, kiss, fight, said the "L" word anniversary gifts, all with accompanying cards or course.

They cause bone deep fear, a constant need to know what's going on all the while knowing I probably don't really want to know what going on, a twitch every time they spend more than 5 minutes alone with my daughter and a possible nervous breakdown before she gains adulthood.

They cause apologies to my parents for having put them through this torture (although I really don't think it was nearly this bad when I was a teenager).

They cause fights between friends, parents, parent to teenager.

They cause heartache and multiple boxes of tissues to be used and discarded when they forget it was the anniversary of the first time they held hands, or when they looked at another girl in class, or they didn't call precisely at 8:02pm as promised so they are obviously seeing someone else...the PIG!!

In short, boyfriends just just more trouble than the average teenage girl should have to deal with so, I propose a solution; teenage girls, refuse to date anyone until you are at least 20.  That way the boys have had time to grow up a bit (most never really grow up completely but that can have it's charming moments as well), you have the time to attend to your studies and find your own self worth before someone causes you to doubt yourself and your parents have the chance to reach senility without putting someone in the ground and winding up in prison because some dirty rotten boy touched their little girl. 

I think it all makes perfect sense when you look at it logically.

Now, can someone explain all this to my daughter?  I'm not sure she'll take it well from me.  *sigh*

PS:  Last picture was taken by Eye Kandy Photography, you can find him on Facebook

Monday Morning Music - Music Lover's Hat

I, like many people, am completely addicted to music.  I don't think of this as a bad thing, although the word addiction does have that connotation, because not all addictions are dangerous.  I fully admit that a car ride of over 5 minutes without some noise, usually the radio, is mind numbingly bad.  My daughter feels mostly the same way so it works out well although she wishes I picked different stations most of the time.  She and I will sing along to many of the songs on good days and let the music uplift our moods on bad days.  It's really kind of magical the effect that music can have on a person.  Strong reactions, good or bad, are not uncommon.  As I was having these thought this morning I decided I would pick 1 song I hear every Monday morning and share it with all of you. (yes, all 4 of you, lol) Since Thanksgiving is officially over I am comfortable listening to Christmas music (although I will give my daughter a break now and then or she will go stark raving mad) and this morning I heard one of my all time favorites, "Little Drummer Boy?Peace on Earth" by Bing Crosby and David Bowie.  It is a truly marvelous blending of these 2 very different voices, styles and times in musical history.  Please enjoy and let the wonder of the season wash over you, whatever the season you celebrate might be.

What's in a Name for my Animal Owner Hat

I have been a cat owner off and on since I was a pre-teen.  Cats have always struck me as amazing creatures; completely independent, wonderfully superior in allowing us to feed, groom and clean up after them all the while blessing us with their presence and, when we are a bit slow, their claws.  They are aloof, demanding, single minded as well as loving, sweet and the perfect lap warmer on a chilly evening.  They can go from being the queen of Siam to a complete goofball in the flip of a tail.  They instantly know when a camera is aimed at them and have super powered can opener hearing abilities.

I currently share my house with a 7 year old male cat named Wade.  He is almost completely black, thick as a tree stump and the pure epitome of cat in every sense of the word.  I have had him since he was a kitten and spent his day terrorizing the puppy with flying leaps from above.  He has grown and matured into a 15ish pound foot warmer.

Early this fall we added a new member to our family.  My sister talked me into a kitten that needed a good home and I guess mine was good enough.  She was a tiny thing they called Gizmo.  I changed that to Gidget for a brief time but after witnessing the ferociousness with which she attacked all aspects of life, a good friend of mine did a little research and re-named her...again...Atalanta from Greek mythology.  It seems to fit her to a tee and we call her Attie for short. 

Attie was born on April 1st and that should've been my first clue that she would not be like any other cat I have ever owned.  We took her to the vet, because I am a responsible pet owner, to get her check-up and initial shots done, set up more appointments and decided around when she would be old enough to be spayed, as I have no desire to raise or try to find home for more kittens.  We decided right around the first of October would be good, that being about 6 months after her birth.  It was a good plan, a sound plan, a well thought out and responsible plan; we should not have made this plan in from of Attie as she apparently did not like the plan.

About 2 weeks before she was going to go in for her "procedure" I noticed she wasn't eating very much and every time she drank, she would throw up.  This is not a good thing for a cat; actually, it's not good for any animal that I know of, including me.  It had me worried and after this going on for about 3 days, we took her in to the vet.  I had no idea what I was getting myself into but what other choice did I have?  The vet found a string wrapped around the bottom of her tongue leading into her throat.  It was all the way through her intestines and knotted by that time and she was in pretty rough shape.  We had to leave her there for emergency surgery.  I hate that I had to ask, but I had to ask the bottom line, after all it's not as if I have animal insurance and these things can put a serious crimp in a savings account.  It sounded like it would wipe out a good portion of my "set it aside for an emergency" fund but we gave the vet the go ahead, the child had a few teary moments and away we went. 

I called the next day and she had come through the surgery ok and they were waiting to see how she did in recovery.  Day after day we waited and called until they finally said we could come get her and take her home.  They gave me a total at that time and I just about fainted.  it was over $200 more than the quote estimate I got when I first gave the go ahead!  Now it was up over the $1000 range and that is a pretty big chunk for a kitten who can't even play with string without binding herself up!  I was livid to put it mildly.  By the time we got to the office they had found over $100 to take off the cost, then informed me I needed to bring her back after about a week for a check-up.  I thought that meant take out the stitches but no; it was just to see how she was, look down her throat, show us the string and gouge another $30 out of me!

The kitten is fine.  She will go in for her "procedure" sometime next month, probably a different vet office as I am still not ok with the total cost from this last fiasco and we have changed her name yet again.  I now call er Atalanta Grande, the cat that cost me a grand!  (She is awful cute though)

Lesson Learned:  No matter what they say, cats and string should NOT be in the same place at the same time!

My Friend Hat is not as new as it was before...but still fabulous!

A Night of Firsts

A rockin’ hot band

A couple of good friends

An experimental drink (named for the rockin’ hot band)

Mexican inspired snacks, including homemade guacamole

Guacamole wrestling by roller derby girls

Oh yea, we were set for an excellent evening.

Every few weeks my friends and I try to get together and cut loose a little.  As we have gotten older, this usually includes a nap during the day sometime, but we can still shake our righteous booties and keep up with beat…mostly.

This past Saturday was to be a fairly normal, at least for us, evening out.  One of the good friend’s husband is the drummer for the rockin’ hot band and the other’s husband has been working photography shoots with both the band and the roller derby girls so we had plenty of reasons to go out and support both of these groups, not to mention it sounded like a really good time.

We gathered first at my place.  It has become a bit of a tradition for us to get together before going out so we can talk, eat, do a little pre-drinking, some make-up and just have some laughs before we hit the bar.  Honestly, some times that’s my favorite part.

For this night I was going with the whole Mexican theme as we were going to a Mexican bar for the rest of the night’s excitement.  We’ve gone there plenty of times before.  Nice place, pretty clean, very little drama, decent dance floor, over all I give it 7 highballs out of 10.  They have a couple signature drinks as well so that makes it a bit more fun too.

I decided to try my hand at homemade fresh guacamole, as I have discovered a bit of an addiction to this tasty treat over the past year, and homemade pita chips.  Both were successful (pat on the back for myself) and we had veggies with chipotle ranch dip that I bought.  (Hey, gimme a break, I made the guacamole didn’t I?)  I really like putting together new combinations of alcoholic beverages as well and I have to say, most of them have been successful (another pat on the back, I know) and the night seemed to call for something special so, yep, put on the old thinking drinking cap and mixed up a Screamin’ Lou in honor of the band the Screamin’ Lous and the Blood Blisters.  (don’t blame me, I didn’t name the band)  The drink turned out pretty tasty although only 1 of the 3 that I tried actually lit up.  I think I was too afraid of the 151 rum; that will take more practice.

So far this had been a pretty normal Saturday Going Out Night for us all.  It would NOT remain that way.

New Thing #1:  The 3 on 1 Pick Up or I’m Too Picky

The three of us ladies were sitting at the bar getting a mild drink (the Screamin’ Lous were pretty potent and we are old enough now to know limits and the dangers of pushing them) and chatting while the wrestling and the band were getting set up.  I noticed a good looking guy kinda eyeballing the 3 of us, which was nice.  It’s always a kick to be noticed.  He didn’t actually talk to any of us but he told the bartender to buy us each a drink.  That was sweet.  He came over again a little later to get other drink and we thanked him, introduced ourselves and, naturally, chatted about him when he left.  Let’s just say I was thinking there was some potential there.  About an hour later I see he’s standing right next to me at the railing waiting for the next wrestling match so we started chatting.  He pointed at one of my girl friends and asked if that was her boyfriend she was talking to, so we had the obligatory “she’s married to him and she’s married to him” talk.  Now I’m thinking, crap, wasn’t interested in me anyway.  Then he asks about my husband, ok, cheered up a bit.  Said the only husband I had was the “ex” variety.  This led into his story of almost divorced because she took pictures of herself cheating on him, they have 2 kids both under 10 and the whole time he’s talking I keep thinking, no way Jose…too much baggage for me.  Funny how they get less attractive the more they open their mouths, doncha think?  There were no regrets in letting that fish swim right back out to sea, thank you very much.

New Thing #2:  Guacamole Wrestling…Only Not

The local roller derby team was there doing a fund raiser for the night and part of the festivities was suppose to be the girls wrestling in guacamole.  Sounds fun, right?  Well, apparently making that much guacamole didn’t work so the kitchen whipped up some corn starch and water combination for the girls.  The girls spent about 20 minutes just sliding back and forth, posing for pictures and keeping the goop on the move.  Once the actually wrestling started the corn starch went a-flyin!  Anyone who was the least bit close to the railing got nailed by corn starch glop, and it stayed on our clothes all night.  I’m not going to say what it looked like because I know there is potential for younger people to read this (yea right, I know only 4 people follow this but better safe than sorry) but I can say it looked like the party we’d been to was waaaay wilder than the truth.  By the end of the evening, after 3 matches and much drying time, the wall, seat cushions, floor, railing and almost everything else had a coating of dry flaky corn starch firmly attached. 

This led to….

New Thing #3:  Cleaning Up and Wiping Down

Around 1am, after most of the fun and excitement was over for the evening, although the band was still going strong, we saw 1 of the roller derby girls with a pail of water and a cloth trying to clean up as much of the corn starch mess as she could.  As the guilt kicked in (since we knew the girls and felt somewhat territorial about the whole night) my friend and I went up to get rags and we ended up scrubbing corn starch off multiple surfaces while working around people and doing a little bootie shake now and then to the band.  First time I’d ever cleaned up in a bar and that was compounded by the fact that people were still partying while we were cleaning.  Have to admit, not really looking forward to repeating that particular part of the evening.

New Thing #4:  Was That a Fight?

I have known 1 of my friend’s has a temper and does not hesitate to stand up for something if she feels strongly about it.  I find this an admirable quality, as well as a dangerous one.  One of the best things I have ever learned in all of my years of working with kids and going to conferences was from Brian Mendler.  He encouraged us to be Second to the Last Word-ers.  Brilliant!  If you can school yourself to let someone else have the last word, the argument ends.  Say anything you want inside your head but if you can step back and recognize that what you are about to say will not help at all and will only make whatever situation worse, then don’t say it.  Sounds so simple, but it’s actually very hard.  Had even 1 person done this Saturday night, everything would have ended.  Unfortunately, this was not the case.  The last word-it is was strong in everyone to the point where the lead singer from the band ended up rocketing out the back door and tackling another guy to the ground.  You might say all hell broke loose.  3 bouncers and the owner came out and it was over pretty quickly but it was exciting to say the least.  This was the first time I had ever witnessed an argument go so far as to physical violence and I have to say, I hope to not have to see it again in my lifetime, although I was pretty impressed with some of the folks who were instrumental in ending the fight and keeping it from starting back up again.

So, that was my night of firsts; many of which I can say I hope to not have happen again.  Does this mean I wish Saturday night hadn’t happened?  Of course not.  Any time I get to hang out with my girls, do a little dancing and cut loose is good for me.

Woman Hat in Dream Land

Last night I woke up on the couch at 2am as my daughter came downstairs for something out of the kitchen.  My neck was stiff, I was still in my work clothes, the tasks I had set for myself were, or course, not done and I did not feel at all rested although I had napped for over 3 hours.  I dreaded getting up in the morning knowing I would have to drag myself through the entire day at work.  On top of that, it is nearly impossible for me to go to sleep (yea, yea, I said nearly, didn’t I?) without spending a least a little bit of time reading.  Great.

            So I dragged myself upstairs, set the alarm and got ready for bed, mentally counting the hours I had left to try to get some real rest, and pick up my reader.  I could read just a few pages and I was sure I’d pass right out…NOT.  Ended 1 book and started another.  It’s an addiction, it truly is, and not one that I plan on doing anything about sense it is mostly harmless.  After all, I have gone through the day with only 2 or 3 hours of sleep before because of a new release or particularly gripping story and survived.

            Anyway, the next time I surfaced I realized it was 3:30am and I had less than 3 hours until the cathedral bells of my alarm clock were going to rocket me into the dreaded morning light so I finally put the book away and let Morpheus take me under, already dreading the morning.

            Did you know that a good dream can take a bad morning and turn it around before it even reaches you?  I had no idea.  I’ve had dreams before and they are almost always bizarre.  Since I seriously doubt I will ever be in a flood with Johnathan Taylor Thomas and giraffes out on the savannah, let alone follow that up with stopping a robbery with a butter knife, I have never put great stock in the theory that dreams are prophetic or meaningful.  Instead, I believe dreams are simply a way for your brain to entertain itself while you are occupied with recharging your battery.  However, the dream I experienced last night leaves me hoping for more.  Not that I want this dream to come true, mind you, because it really was bizarre, as is my pattern, but the feeling it left me with is one I would like to experience again and again.

            So, parts of the dream are vague, as are all dream memories, but bits and pieces I have gone over and over in my head forcing myself to remember so I could share it with all of you.  All 3 of you, lol.  I remember being at a YMCA trying to get a chance to get in the pool with my mom.  I’m not really sure what the problem was but I never did get in and there was a party I was suppose to help set up so I had to leave. 
              The party was for the daughter of a friend and I had her dress.  I remember hanging the dress up, it got ruined, the Village People were there because I was comparing the daughter’s friend to the leather clad singer and then there he was, looking over my shoulder, a bit older but not ancient, agreeing with me about my assessment of the young man.  As odd as it is, it is all background to the main focus, or at least my favorite part, of the dream.  We had the daughter happy, the mother dressed and happy and through all the things that went wrong and were made right was a man who was helping to make everything right.  When I was out of ideas, he came up with one, when I was too short, he was tall enough; to sum up, he was always ready to help but did not try to take over.  He was tall, built, dark hair and maybe a mustache. 

           
I don’t remember exactly what he looked like but I know I found him wildly attractive inside and out.  He was the perfect hero with a bit of devil in him, a delightful combination to my mind.  At the end, everyone was dressed except me, so I took out the dress that had been sent over and it was awful; completely hideous.  It was a sailor type dress with at least 4 different colors and would have made me look like a beached whale on crack.  But there he was again, pulled a red and black feather dress that was gorgeous. 

           
It was tight and shaped just right.  As I was putting on the dress I was again struck by how he always had the right thing to say or do to make me feel taken care of and powerful all at the same time.  He was not only my salvation with the dress and was also very obviously attracted to me in the dress.  Nothing makes a woman feel more attractive than seeing a man with lust and appreciation in his eyes.  He was never too forward, but just a little naughty.  As we were heading toward the party I pulled the door closed behind me and he leaned down, slowly, his eyes very focused on my lips...

And the alarm went off.

 I hate that alarm.