Keeping a Firm Hold on My Mother Hat While it Tries to Fly Away

I have a 15 year old daughter.  Yes, my hair is greying and there is much less than there used to be.  Yes, I have nightmares about everything from too tight tops to hair and make up products driving me to a bank in a ski mask, bu the top of the list, the very pinnacle of frightening, is the boyfriend.   Yes, the boyfriend.

Boyfriends cause problems.  There is no way to deny this fact.

They cause questions to be asked I am not ready to answer. 

They cause drama with friends and family, especially if there are sisters or cousins around the same age liking the same boys.

They cause cell phones to be misused and taken away, which only causes more drama.

They cause misunderstandings, like, "I thought it would be ok to have him come over and visit while you were out shopping, afterall, we are dating mom."

They cause  groundings...see the above problem.

The cause money to be spent.  A lot of money.  A potential mound of money if my daughter is to be believed.
Outfits:  Homecoming dresses, prom dresses, winter ball dresses, summer dresses, all-he-ever-sees-me-in-is-dresses- shorts

Looking Good: Make up and hair care necessary in maintaining a boyfriend
Presents:  birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day, Sweetest Day, 1st month, hand holding, kiss, fight, said the "L" word anniversary gifts, all with accompanying cards or course.

They cause bone deep fear, a constant need to know what's going on all the while knowing I probably don't really want to know what going on, a twitch every time they spend more than 5 minutes alone with my daughter and a possible nervous breakdown before she gains adulthood.

They cause apologies to my parents for having put them through this torture (although I really don't think it was nearly this bad when I was a teenager).

They cause fights between friends, parents, parent to teenager.

They cause heartache and multiple boxes of tissues to be used and discarded when they forget it was the anniversary of the first time they held hands, or when they looked at another girl in class, or they didn't call precisely at 8:02pm as promised so they are obviously seeing someone else...the PIG!!

In short, boyfriends just just more trouble than the average teenage girl should have to deal with so, I propose a solution; teenage girls, refuse to date anyone until you are at least 20.  That way the boys have had time to grow up a bit (most never really grow up completely but that can have it's charming moments as well), you have the time to attend to your studies and find your own self worth before someone causes you to doubt yourself and your parents have the chance to reach senility without putting someone in the ground and winding up in prison because some dirty rotten boy touched their little girl. 

I think it all makes perfect sense when you look at it logically.

Now, can someone explain all this to my daughter?  I'm not sure she'll take it well from me.  *sigh*

PS:  Last picture was taken by Eye Kandy Photography, you can find him on Facebook