Keeping a Firm Hold on My Mother Hat While it Tries to Fly Away

I have a 15 year old daughter.  Yes, my hair is greying and there is much less than there used to be.  Yes, I have nightmares about everything from too tight tops to hair and make up products driving me to a bank in a ski mask, bu the top of the list, the very pinnacle of frightening, is the boyfriend.   Yes, the boyfriend.

Boyfriends cause problems.  There is no way to deny this fact.

They cause questions to be asked I am not ready to answer. 

They cause drama with friends and family, especially if there are sisters or cousins around the same age liking the same boys.

They cause cell phones to be misused and taken away, which only causes more drama.

They cause misunderstandings, like, "I thought it would be ok to have him come over and visit while you were out shopping, afterall, we are dating mom."

They cause  groundings...see the above problem.

The cause money to be spent.  A lot of money.  A potential mound of money if my daughter is to be believed.
Outfits:  Homecoming dresses, prom dresses, winter ball dresses, summer dresses, all-he-ever-sees-me-in-is-dresses- shorts

Looking Good: Make up and hair care necessary in maintaining a boyfriend
Presents:  birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day, Sweetest Day, 1st month, hand holding, kiss, fight, said the "L" word anniversary gifts, all with accompanying cards or course.

They cause bone deep fear, a constant need to know what's going on all the while knowing I probably don't really want to know what going on, a twitch every time they spend more than 5 minutes alone with my daughter and a possible nervous breakdown before she gains adulthood.

They cause apologies to my parents for having put them through this torture (although I really don't think it was nearly this bad when I was a teenager).

They cause fights between friends, parents, parent to teenager.

They cause heartache and multiple boxes of tissues to be used and discarded when they forget it was the anniversary of the first time they held hands, or when they looked at another girl in class, or they didn't call precisely at 8:02pm as promised so they are obviously seeing someone else...the PIG!!

In short, boyfriends just just more trouble than the average teenage girl should have to deal with so, I propose a solution; teenage girls, refuse to date anyone until you are at least 20.  That way the boys have had time to grow up a bit (most never really grow up completely but that can have it's charming moments as well), you have the time to attend to your studies and find your own self worth before someone causes you to doubt yourself and your parents have the chance to reach senility without putting someone in the ground and winding up in prison because some dirty rotten boy touched their little girl. 

I think it all makes perfect sense when you look at it logically.

Now, can someone explain all this to my daughter?  I'm not sure she'll take it well from me.  *sigh*

PS:  Last picture was taken by Eye Kandy Photography, you can find him on Facebook

Monday Morning Music - Music Lover's Hat

I, like many people, am completely addicted to music.  I don't think of this as a bad thing, although the word addiction does have that connotation, because not all addictions are dangerous.  I fully admit that a car ride of over 5 minutes without some noise, usually the radio, is mind numbingly bad.  My daughter feels mostly the same way so it works out well although she wishes I picked different stations most of the time.  She and I will sing along to many of the songs on good days and let the music uplift our moods on bad days.  It's really kind of magical the effect that music can have on a person.  Strong reactions, good or bad, are not uncommon.  As I was having these thought this morning I decided I would pick 1 song I hear every Monday morning and share it with all of you. (yes, all 4 of you, lol) Since Thanksgiving is officially over I am comfortable listening to Christmas music (although I will give my daughter a break now and then or she will go stark raving mad) and this morning I heard one of my all time favorites, "Little Drummer Boy?Peace on Earth" by Bing Crosby and David Bowie.  It is a truly marvelous blending of these 2 very different voices, styles and times in musical history.  Please enjoy and let the wonder of the season wash over you, whatever the season you celebrate might be.

What's in a Name for my Animal Owner Hat

I have been a cat owner off and on since I was a pre-teen.  Cats have always struck me as amazing creatures; completely independent, wonderfully superior in allowing us to feed, groom and clean up after them all the while blessing us with their presence and, when we are a bit slow, their claws.  They are aloof, demanding, single minded as well as loving, sweet and the perfect lap warmer on a chilly evening.  They can go from being the queen of Siam to a complete goofball in the flip of a tail.  They instantly know when a camera is aimed at them and have super powered can opener hearing abilities.

I currently share my house with a 7 year old male cat named Wade.  He is almost completely black, thick as a tree stump and the pure epitome of cat in every sense of the word.  I have had him since he was a kitten and spent his day terrorizing the puppy with flying leaps from above.  He has grown and matured into a 15ish pound foot warmer.

Early this fall we added a new member to our family.  My sister talked me into a kitten that needed a good home and I guess mine was good enough.  She was a tiny thing they called Gizmo.  I changed that to Gidget for a brief time but after witnessing the ferociousness with which she attacked all aspects of life, a good friend of mine did a little research and re-named her...again...Atalanta from Greek mythology.  It seems to fit her to a tee and we call her Attie for short. 

Attie was born on April 1st and that should've been my first clue that she would not be like any other cat I have ever owned.  We took her to the vet, because I am a responsible pet owner, to get her check-up and initial shots done, set up more appointments and decided around when she would be old enough to be spayed, as I have no desire to raise or try to find home for more kittens.  We decided right around the first of October would be good, that being about 6 months after her birth.  It was a good plan, a sound plan, a well thought out and responsible plan; we should not have made this plan in from of Attie as she apparently did not like the plan.

About 2 weeks before she was going to go in for her "procedure" I noticed she wasn't eating very much and every time she drank, she would throw up.  This is not a good thing for a cat; actually, it's not good for any animal that I know of, including me.  It had me worried and after this going on for about 3 days, we took her in to the vet.  I had no idea what I was getting myself into but what other choice did I have?  The vet found a string wrapped around the bottom of her tongue leading into her throat.  It was all the way through her intestines and knotted by that time and she was in pretty rough shape.  We had to leave her there for emergency surgery.  I hate that I had to ask, but I had to ask the bottom line, after all it's not as if I have animal insurance and these things can put a serious crimp in a savings account.  It sounded like it would wipe out a good portion of my "set it aside for an emergency" fund but we gave the vet the go ahead, the child had a few teary moments and away we went. 

I called the next day and she had come through the surgery ok and they were waiting to see how she did in recovery.  Day after day we waited and called until they finally said we could come get her and take her home.  They gave me a total at that time and I just about fainted.  it was over $200 more than the quote estimate I got when I first gave the go ahead!  Now it was up over the $1000 range and that is a pretty big chunk for a kitten who can't even play with string without binding herself up!  I was livid to put it mildly.  By the time we got to the office they had found over $100 to take off the cost, then informed me I needed to bring her back after about a week for a check-up.  I thought that meant take out the stitches but no; it was just to see how she was, look down her throat, show us the string and gouge another $30 out of me!

The kitten is fine.  She will go in for her "procedure" sometime next month, probably a different vet office as I am still not ok with the total cost from this last fiasco and we have changed her name yet again.  I now call er Atalanta Grande, the cat that cost me a grand!  (She is awful cute though)

Lesson Learned:  No matter what they say, cats and string should NOT be in the same place at the same time!

My Friend Hat is not as new as it was before...but still fabulous!

A Night of Firsts

A rockin’ hot band

A couple of good friends

An experimental drink (named for the rockin’ hot band)

Mexican inspired snacks, including homemade guacamole

Guacamole wrestling by roller derby girls

Oh yea, we were set for an excellent evening.

Every few weeks my friends and I try to get together and cut loose a little.  As we have gotten older, this usually includes a nap during the day sometime, but we can still shake our righteous booties and keep up with beat…mostly.

This past Saturday was to be a fairly normal, at least for us, evening out.  One of the good friend’s husband is the drummer for the rockin’ hot band and the other’s husband has been working photography shoots with both the band and the roller derby girls so we had plenty of reasons to go out and support both of these groups, not to mention it sounded like a really good time.

We gathered first at my place.  It has become a bit of a tradition for us to get together before going out so we can talk, eat, do a little pre-drinking, some make-up and just have some laughs before we hit the bar.  Honestly, some times that’s my favorite part.

For this night I was going with the whole Mexican theme as we were going to a Mexican bar for the rest of the night’s excitement.  We’ve gone there plenty of times before.  Nice place, pretty clean, very little drama, decent dance floor, over all I give it 7 highballs out of 10.  They have a couple signature drinks as well so that makes it a bit more fun too.

I decided to try my hand at homemade fresh guacamole, as I have discovered a bit of an addiction to this tasty treat over the past year, and homemade pita chips.  Both were successful (pat on the back for myself) and we had veggies with chipotle ranch dip that I bought.  (Hey, gimme a break, I made the guacamole didn’t I?)  I really like putting together new combinations of alcoholic beverages as well and I have to say, most of them have been successful (another pat on the back, I know) and the night seemed to call for something special so, yep, put on the old thinking drinking cap and mixed up a Screamin’ Lou in honor of the band the Screamin’ Lous and the Blood Blisters.  (don’t blame me, I didn’t name the band)  The drink turned out pretty tasty although only 1 of the 3 that I tried actually lit up.  I think I was too afraid of the 151 rum; that will take more practice.

So far this had been a pretty normal Saturday Going Out Night for us all.  It would NOT remain that way.

New Thing #1:  The 3 on 1 Pick Up or I’m Too Picky

The three of us ladies were sitting at the bar getting a mild drink (the Screamin’ Lous were pretty potent and we are old enough now to know limits and the dangers of pushing them) and chatting while the wrestling and the band were getting set up.  I noticed a good looking guy kinda eyeballing the 3 of us, which was nice.  It’s always a kick to be noticed.  He didn’t actually talk to any of us but he told the bartender to buy us each a drink.  That was sweet.  He came over again a little later to get other drink and we thanked him, introduced ourselves and, naturally, chatted about him when he left.  Let’s just say I was thinking there was some potential there.  About an hour later I see he’s standing right next to me at the railing waiting for the next wrestling match so we started chatting.  He pointed at one of my girl friends and asked if that was her boyfriend she was talking to, so we had the obligatory “she’s married to him and she’s married to him” talk.  Now I’m thinking, crap, wasn’t interested in me anyway.  Then he asks about my husband, ok, cheered up a bit.  Said the only husband I had was the “ex” variety.  This led into his story of almost divorced because she took pictures of herself cheating on him, they have 2 kids both under 10 and the whole time he’s talking I keep thinking, no way Jose…too much baggage for me.  Funny how they get less attractive the more they open their mouths, doncha think?  There were no regrets in letting that fish swim right back out to sea, thank you very much.

New Thing #2:  Guacamole Wrestling…Only Not

The local roller derby team was there doing a fund raiser for the night and part of the festivities was suppose to be the girls wrestling in guacamole.  Sounds fun, right?  Well, apparently making that much guacamole didn’t work so the kitchen whipped up some corn starch and water combination for the girls.  The girls spent about 20 minutes just sliding back and forth, posing for pictures and keeping the goop on the move.  Once the actually wrestling started the corn starch went a-flyin!  Anyone who was the least bit close to the railing got nailed by corn starch glop, and it stayed on our clothes all night.  I’m not going to say what it looked like because I know there is potential for younger people to read this (yea right, I know only 4 people follow this but better safe than sorry) but I can say it looked like the party we’d been to was waaaay wilder than the truth.  By the end of the evening, after 3 matches and much drying time, the wall, seat cushions, floor, railing and almost everything else had a coating of dry flaky corn starch firmly attached. 

This led to….

New Thing #3:  Cleaning Up and Wiping Down

Around 1am, after most of the fun and excitement was over for the evening, although the band was still going strong, we saw 1 of the roller derby girls with a pail of water and a cloth trying to clean up as much of the corn starch mess as she could.  As the guilt kicked in (since we knew the girls and felt somewhat territorial about the whole night) my friend and I went up to get rags and we ended up scrubbing corn starch off multiple surfaces while working around people and doing a little bootie shake now and then to the band.  First time I’d ever cleaned up in a bar and that was compounded by the fact that people were still partying while we were cleaning.  Have to admit, not really looking forward to repeating that particular part of the evening.

New Thing #4:  Was That a Fight?

I have known 1 of my friend’s has a temper and does not hesitate to stand up for something if she feels strongly about it.  I find this an admirable quality, as well as a dangerous one.  One of the best things I have ever learned in all of my years of working with kids and going to conferences was from Brian Mendler.  He encouraged us to be Second to the Last Word-ers.  Brilliant!  If you can school yourself to let someone else have the last word, the argument ends.  Say anything you want inside your head but if you can step back and recognize that what you are about to say will not help at all and will only make whatever situation worse, then don’t say it.  Sounds so simple, but it’s actually very hard.  Had even 1 person done this Saturday night, everything would have ended.  Unfortunately, this was not the case.  The last word-it is was strong in everyone to the point where the lead singer from the band ended up rocketing out the back door and tackling another guy to the ground.  You might say all hell broke loose.  3 bouncers and the owner came out and it was over pretty quickly but it was exciting to say the least.  This was the first time I had ever witnessed an argument go so far as to physical violence and I have to say, I hope to not have to see it again in my lifetime, although I was pretty impressed with some of the folks who were instrumental in ending the fight and keeping it from starting back up again.

So, that was my night of firsts; many of which I can say I hope to not have happen again.  Does this mean I wish Saturday night hadn’t happened?  Of course not.  Any time I get to hang out with my girls, do a little dancing and cut loose is good for me.

Woman Hat in Dream Land

Last night I woke up on the couch at 2am as my daughter came downstairs for something out of the kitchen.  My neck was stiff, I was still in my work clothes, the tasks I had set for myself were, or course, not done and I did not feel at all rested although I had napped for over 3 hours.  I dreaded getting up in the morning knowing I would have to drag myself through the entire day at work.  On top of that, it is nearly impossible for me to go to sleep (yea, yea, I said nearly, didn’t I?) without spending a least a little bit of time reading.  Great.

            So I dragged myself upstairs, set the alarm and got ready for bed, mentally counting the hours I had left to try to get some real rest, and pick up my reader.  I could read just a few pages and I was sure I’d pass right out…NOT.  Ended 1 book and started another.  It’s an addiction, it truly is, and not one that I plan on doing anything about sense it is mostly harmless.  After all, I have gone through the day with only 2 or 3 hours of sleep before because of a new release or particularly gripping story and survived.

            Anyway, the next time I surfaced I realized it was 3:30am and I had less than 3 hours until the cathedral bells of my alarm clock were going to rocket me into the dreaded morning light so I finally put the book away and let Morpheus take me under, already dreading the morning.

            Did you know that a good dream can take a bad morning and turn it around before it even reaches you?  I had no idea.  I’ve had dreams before and they are almost always bizarre.  Since I seriously doubt I will ever be in a flood with Johnathan Taylor Thomas and giraffes out on the savannah, let alone follow that up with stopping a robbery with a butter knife, I have never put great stock in the theory that dreams are prophetic or meaningful.  Instead, I believe dreams are simply a way for your brain to entertain itself while you are occupied with recharging your battery.  However, the dream I experienced last night leaves me hoping for more.  Not that I want this dream to come true, mind you, because it really was bizarre, as is my pattern, but the feeling it left me with is one I would like to experience again and again.

            So, parts of the dream are vague, as are all dream memories, but bits and pieces I have gone over and over in my head forcing myself to remember so I could share it with all of you.  All 3 of you, lol.  I remember being at a YMCA trying to get a chance to get in the pool with my mom.  I’m not really sure what the problem was but I never did get in and there was a party I was suppose to help set up so I had to leave. 
              The party was for the daughter of a friend and I had her dress.  I remember hanging the dress up, it got ruined, the Village People were there because I was comparing the daughter’s friend to the leather clad singer and then there he was, looking over my shoulder, a bit older but not ancient, agreeing with me about my assessment of the young man.  As odd as it is, it is all background to the main focus, or at least my favorite part, of the dream.  We had the daughter happy, the mother dressed and happy and through all the things that went wrong and were made right was a man who was helping to make everything right.  When I was out of ideas, he came up with one, when I was too short, he was tall enough; to sum up, he was always ready to help but did not try to take over.  He was tall, built, dark hair and maybe a mustache. 

           
I don’t remember exactly what he looked like but I know I found him wildly attractive inside and out.  He was the perfect hero with a bit of devil in him, a delightful combination to my mind.  At the end, everyone was dressed except me, so I took out the dress that had been sent over and it was awful; completely hideous.  It was a sailor type dress with at least 4 different colors and would have made me look like a beached whale on crack.  But there he was again, pulled a red and black feather dress that was gorgeous. 

           
It was tight and shaped just right.  As I was putting on the dress I was again struck by how he always had the right thing to say or do to make me feel taken care of and powerful all at the same time.  He was not only my salvation with the dress and was also very obviously attracted to me in the dress.  Nothing makes a woman feel more attractive than seeing a man with lust and appreciation in his eyes.  He was never too forward, but just a little naughty.  As we were heading toward the party I pulled the door closed behind me and he leaned down, slowly, his eyes very focused on my lips...

And the alarm went off.

 I hate that alarm.

Friend (Conical and black) Hat

Halloween.  My favorite time of the year bar none.  OK, August heat with close friends in canvas runs pretty close too but Halloween has always held a very special place in my heart.  This Halloween was pretty low key and I thought it would be a let down compared to last year particularly.  You see, I have fallen in with a Halloween crowd over the last couple of years.  They are a wonderful influence to my inner freak, especially around Halloween.  Actually, they are a wonderful influence all year long but they are just as nuts about Halloween as I am, maybe more, so around this time of year it gets to be even more fun.

            There is something very magical about Halloween.  The fall leaves showing off their finest gowns before ending their dance for the season, the frosty morning when the grass crunches under your shoes, the smells so crisp and clean that can only exist this time of year and all of it leading up to a night that demands a fantasy for any age as long as they keep magic and wonder in their hearts.  This describes my Halloween loving friends to a T.

            Last year their house because a haunted stone mansion complete with smoke filled graveyard where the living dead would occasionally rise up to see the costumes parading down the sidewalk.  There were laser lights to guide the unsuspecting into the laboratory on the porch where they were greeted by severed heads, more smoke, hideous monsters and teenagers with the ultimate prize…the chocolate!  It was amazing and everyone had a great time.  They had a Halloween night staff who showed up the night before for a pre-party and final set up evening and most of us returned for the main event to see the overall effect and enjoy each others company as we chatted with the parents accompanying their wildly outfitted offspring on their yearly candy fest.  Young lions growled the courage, dogs forced to wear bumble bee costumes were given treats right along with their mini human counter parts and everyone enjoyed the night despite the chill in the air.

           

           This year, I was sure would be a let down as this couple has been so busy they weren’t able to construct the whole mansion this year.  I knew the pre-party would not happen and the magically night itself would probably be pretty low key.  My daughter and I went over to enjoy chili, rolls and cornbread as a pre-invasion feast (and it was truly wonderful) while Todd (the Halloween Master) set up what decorations he could; the blow up spider with smoke billowing from his fangs every once in a while, various jack-o-lanterns also bellowing mysterious smoke and a gate way daring people to enter.  The cauldron was full to brimming with chocolate and the dog treats were open and ready in time for the first brave adventurers to utter the timeless plea “trick or treat”.  For the next 2 hours we watched the endless parade of fairies and zombies, princesses and ninjas as we huddled in coats trying to shut out the cold and enjoyed every single magical moment.  As it turns out, I don’t need big fake mansions and ghostly graveyards, I just need my friends and our mutual love of Halloween and everything it embodies.